But upon further probing, I discovered that it was the rejection that had him crying in my lap. He explained that he was having trouble forgiving me for my initial rejection of him when we were in high school and then he dumped a laundry list of problems he had with me that could circle the planet three times. He and the almost-OW never had sex and now we’re back together. he has remained very good friends with the almost-OW. I won’t stoop to snooping on his phone but I can see what he’s writing! He’s moves home, and then he goes right back to the same old shit? Who cares if he thinks you are “petty” — do you think this kind of flagrant disrespect belongs in a marriage? You don’t need a marriage counselor to explain to him that dating other women in front of you and then whinging about it is wrong. He’s being very in-your-face about his attempted infidelities to hurt you. This guys is walking the razor’s edge of a sexual harassment lawsuit.
It’s mildly flirtatious, which is how, incidentally, he describes their relationship. If he’s that dim, you should divorce him for felony stupid. You need to get a settlement in place before he loses his job.
As in the first warning sign calling names is about control and humiliation.
We all have dealt with nicknames and insults, even among our friends.
You might be a nerd, a jock, a popular and be proud about it.
The increased awareness of bullying behavior has brought this warning sign more attention.
He told me the courtesy of telling me he was going to spend time with her was over. Look, Lady, he’s a flaming asshole, but you have to stop being a chump. This whole “I’m going on dates and you’re not the boss of me! Staying with this asshole is modeling TERRIBLE things to him about how you treat a marriage partner. It doesn’t matter if the affair was physical or not, start calling the shots, Lady.
He maintains that he is doing absolutely nothing wrong, they are just friends, and that I’m being petty. You separated and then took him back without any consequences or boundaries. He needs to see you stand up and not tolerate abuse. It matters that he is emotionally abusing you and refuses to stop.
If people you don’t really care about call you names, it may not be as upsetting.
If that person is your boyfriend or girlfriend it becomes a whole different story.