Don't Be Their Friend Just as with any old parent-child relationship, it's a bad idea to try to be "friends" with your significant other's child.
It's easy to want to impress them and be that cool, new person in their life, but they need the structure, seriousness, and guidance that only adults can provide. (Even when it totally doesn't feel like it.) Lay the Smack Down Early My boyfriend was a supreme joker, so it came naturally that his child was, too. I was afraid of p*ssing off my boyfriend, but he was fine with it. The boy was a little pins-and-needles with me for a few hours afterward, but he soon got over it and life went back to normal. Don't try this move too soon, but don't wait too long, either. It's one thing to have your boyfriend pee with the door open, but it's another thing when you're sitting on the couch and realize you can hear his kid peeing down the hall.
I scoured the Internet for advice about dating people with kids. I got the same advice from multiple people: "Be yourself." OK, what next? We were on and off, and it wasn't the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.
The only books I could find were about step-parenting. Considering the divorce rate in this country, I thought finding the advice would be easy. *crickets* My relationship with this man continued for... But I did learn a LOT about the kiddos and how to deal with them.
Knowing that I was moving back to a small town after years of living in cities, I looked at my therapist and said: "I can't date someone who has children. And while I was in love with both the man and the kid, I was totally lost. There is nothing wrong with single or divorced parents. But my friends back home in the small town I was moving back to? He had a son with his ex-girlfriend, who I also remember from my past.
I was in a relationship with a man who had a 10-year-old son. I was 29 years old, and the majority of my friends in Chicago were childless or childfree, whichever term you prefer. I knew that by moving back here, I was inviting many children into my day-to-day life -- and probably my love life, too. Despite all of my fears, I reconnected with this man from my youth.
I struggle that I see a relationship as 2 people, a team, dealing with all the things that come up every day, this is a real struggle with my partner though as he typically will try to fix things and sees many of the things involving the kids as "his burden to deal with" which leaves me feeling that I am not included in some things.
It can sometimes be very thankless and you need to be selfless to date someone with kids.
It's not fair to the kids if you aren't going to stick around.I recommend waiting at least 3 months before the introduction.Even if you already know the children, you shouldn't be showing up too soon. She was married and was actually pregnant with her third child when I "met" her.But I quickly learned that this wasn't my kid, and the rules were different at my boyfriend's house. So if I felt a Playstation attack coming on, I left. I invited them places and if they didn't want to go, I went with someone else or by myself. If he doesn't do anything about it if it happens again, go straight to the kid. (And I can hear the parents recoiling that the childless girl is suggesting it! She not only gave vows to her new husband, she also gave vows to her new stepson.When you date someone who has a child, they can feel that their life has more "weight" than yours -- like you should do whatever they want to do based on their schedules and needs. Be gentle, but let them know that things are a-changin' in the house. If I ever find myself in that situation, I'll totally do it, too.