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i was reading testimonies of people who have been cured by the treatment, this was a few months ago, and the one guy wrote that absolutely nothing compares to IL2. Clark: i can’t stop crying its hard to read the computer i’m so happy Me: yes baby Clark: :-D we are going to do it baby Me: i’m so happy too i know we are Chemotherapy was our last-ditch effort to beat back the cancer. If all went according to plan, the chemo would shrink his tumors to manageable levels, and we’d return to the NIH to participate in a different clinical trial, the one with the best success rate.

Clark: I would go to my mothers chill there u can start having a life again Me: baby, my life is being with you and fighting this cancer that’s what it is i do not resent you, and i never will| i love you and we’re in this together After three weeks of chemo, it was clear we were losing. Clark: email coming um, the message said that she understands our concerns and thinks they are still able to provide us the original treatment and just wanted to talk to us more about it Me: WHAT! on Tuesday Me: oh my god Me: got her email oh my god they’re going to do it Clark: whenever Kitano does something totally rad i play that “Are you ready for the sex girls” song from Revenge of the Nerds in my head Me: HAHAHAHAHA tell her that.

Did he always know he was going to die, or did he think there was a chance?

Did he believe me when I told him stories of the people whose tumors had shrunk to nothing, seemingly by magic?

Clark: figure I’ll notice there first Me: you never know Clark: when are you leaving? Clark: k i love you Me: i will get gatorades and ensures. The treatment has a slim chance of success but it’s one of the only regimens approved specifically for melanoma by the FDA.

Patients are typically bedridden with dizzying flulike symptoms and are uncharacteristically irritable or moody. He had a high fever and soiled the bed again and again during his second IL-2 treatment.

These accounts weren’t just spamming him, they were sending somewhat explicit messages in an attempt to entice him to join a private webcam chat with a 22- or 23-year-old woman, depending on which of the six porn bots he engaged with. If you’re unfamiliar, Play Station Network (PSN) and Xbox Live (XBL) both have messaging platforms that allow users to interact with one another.

I watched You Tube videos of his band, Statehood, scanning for hints of what his voice sounded like, afraid I’d already forgotten.

The memories of my life as Clark’s caretaker buzz in the back of my brain at a low hum.

It was easier for me to play cheerleader; I wasn’t the one shitting the bed and gritting my teeth through the pain. Clark: yes Me: i don’t think anything compares to IL2. i think it’s less puking, pooping, ill feeling and more weak, tired.

Clark: babies, did they say the next treatment is rough? however, IL2 has a really low success rate, the other treatment has a high one.