The excuse well I got kids so youll always be second is lame.The relationship you have with your kids is not the same as the one you have with your spouse.I've been dating a man for close to 5 months and he is recently divorced and has 3 kids.I'm really very happy and it seems like everything is going in the right direction for us. Personally, I have found this website very helpful because it helped me easily get anonymous feedback from friends about my relationship. I'm head over heels, but recently I've wondered myself if I am getting what I need from this relationship.I was in your situation, until I broke it off with him yesterday. Your story provides confirmation that I did absolutely the correct thing. They will get over the initial shock of how untraditional your relationship is, and more importantly, that even though this isn't what they envisioned for you, it might be ok -because of the positive changes your relationship causes within you. He also may be somewhat over-protective of his kids and maybe worried about them, in the event that your relationship has issues. He and their mother have been divorced for 3 1/2 years.When he was courting me he promised me everything under the sun, including that I would never be second to his children. It's not all sunshine & roses though -you will have to deal with the kids and ex-wife emotions by yourself, you don't want the parental 'we told you so' -alone, because he will try, but never truly comprehend everything his baggage will put you through, emotionally and otherwise. He probably doesn't want them to be in the middle of any issues or especially a possible break-up. im dealing with the same thang its hard for my parents to understand the chose i made to date a man that is divorce with im going threw a divorce myself with kids like this man im what im doing is showing that im happy now cause of this showing them just me doing the right things in life that i wasnt doing before he came into my life. I am the only woman the kids have met, so he is very protective of them. He also travels alot for work,so in his limited free time he is torn between his kids OR me instead of me AND the kids?Remember who are you sleeping next to at night and how important is that to you.
It will put a lot of strain on your relationship and sometimes it is EXTREMELY hard to deal with. But, I know my boyfriend is not staying at his ex's house. He was separated, living in separate places, for a little over a year.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but he has been doing this for eight months. Apparently I've never seemed this happy before -no one can discourage anything that breathes new life into you like that. I can sense his hesitations in marriage and that sort of thing. We were friends for 4 years before we started dating 10 months ago.
What reason does he have for not doing it for eight more? Let them feed off your positive energy & be sure to mention what an admirable, inspiring man you have -yes, as much as possible, even if their stares become ice cold and their words fade into silence... I do understand where he is coming from, although I also definitely understand where you are coming from. For him, it is probably easy to get into the routine with just his kids (not that he is trying to set you aside). I have spent time (dinner...3 times) with the 15 yr old daughter and met the 10 yr old son.
It your happy right now, you should keep going with it. I feel like I am not included in the most important aspect of his and it hurts. I am an Asian, we don't believe in divorce and that sort of thing. I am in this dilemma as I am also not sure if we will have a good future together...he's hesitant to get married and not so sure of having another child.
Just remember that it is still the beginning and you might not end up with him anyway. Troe1113, I realize that the situations are not exactly the same, but you could be in for a long wait and not even know if he's going to involve you or not with his kids. We talk about it often but nothing has changed and he keeps telling me to be patient. I am 33 yrs old, never been married and want children of my own.